A
Tribute to the New Godfather
If my mind could
not conceive the supreme holiness that is so rightly bestowed on the greatest
living human being ever created… and in case you are wondering… who I am
talking about… and sadly there is a dire possibility… that your female mind has
not from the very beginning attained the image of the most handsome man… that
has ever lived… a clue to the blind… 2 meters tall… bearded… womanizer… big
possibility for two offsprings… some speak of 5 or more… and 50 or more wish to
claim that they are his kids… while hundreds of thousands… pure peasants… envy
him so terribly that each and every day finds them sicker than the day before…
and yes, it’s all true…
Who among you is
worthy enough to bow humbly enough… appropriately enough… to have the honor to
kiss his hand… who is among you that dares lay claim… that he is not envious…
He is holy not
only because he was born that way… but it is especially when he is lying to you
that his majesty and sainthood is exhibited… How can anyone dare say that his
lies are lies? If he lies to you it is for your own good, and in case you never
heard him say and state a shred of truth it is because you don’t deserve it. If
you can’t worship his lies, his anger, his rage… his billion sins and
blasphemies… how indeed can you ever be able to truly appreciate his sainthood?
Even God hates
you… all of you… asides from that 2% that voted for him… and to be fair, God
hates even that 2%... because they could
have done so much more for him…
they could have rigged the voting… they
could have killed the other opponents, they could have slid their throats…
But did they do
that?... No, they did not!… Thus that 2% along with the remaining 98% might as
well burn in hell… for all are guilty… all deserve a pitiless abyss and our
dear archbishop would love to see you sad, sour and in pain… for you simply
can’t see beyond your foolishness. And even if you could… you still deserve
endless pain.
That is why it is
so tragic to see beggars going into his office asking for help, money, charity
and all that bullshit that accompanies your presence. Worst types of peasants
are the ones that seek spiritual guidance.
For God’s sake,
leave the man in peace! He is the Archbishop after all, why would he care to
listen to your endless whining? Moreover, did you even bother to ask if he
wants to see you ugly face? If you come… and if in the rarest of occasions he
is not totally disgusted by your presence… and if in the slimmest of chances he
is not in the blackest of moods… and in the off chance that he did not wake up
from the wrong side of bed… and if his digestion is not in such foul mood… then,
in that case and in taking into consideration that you came to donate to the
church above 500.000 Euros and you are in awareness that he can’t stand seeing
your charmless face for more than 30 seconds… hopefully and that is not for
certain, he might actually not be so disturbed by you wasting his ever so
valuable time by paying a second’s attention to you, even though you know that
you never deserved it… And please, spare us the histrionics… that you will bow
and kiss his hands not once… but a thousand times… does not make up for the
fact that he actually has to breathe the same air as you pigs!!!
The endless
arrogance of mere mortals is indescribable… How indeed they dare think that his
flesh and blood could in any way resemble yours?
You beg God for
forgiveness every day, though whenever God grants you the chance to be tested
you come up short on choice and full in stupidity.
During the last
election and before the holiest of the holy ascended to the throne as he did
so… rightfully… cheating as he had to with the help of God as always, you were
asked to choose between the Kykkou man, who’s the shortest of the short, the
fattest of the fat, who’s Athanasios, that sly homo – pedophile with that sick
mania for spiritual purity – love and Christianity makes God roar with anger…
for God is the one that gave birth to Adam and Eve, to Cain and Abel… don’t you
get it? God loves a fake… a devilish scheme… far more than Satan does… and
lastly… the Saint from Paphos… a towering figure, a giant of a man…. The Robin
Hood of bishops!
And what did you
do?... You went about wasting your votes on the short and the fat…
Without a doubt,
we hate you all, we love no one but ourselves!
Signed
Nikos Annanstasiades
Blessed and
sponsored by the Archbishop
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